May 08, 2004 - 9:48 a.m.

Behold the Dancing Porcupine

This past week has been kind of hard. For one thing, I've had to work more than I am used to, since, with the exception of Tuesday, one of the kids was home sick every day. First it was the evil, hacking cough that everyone but H got. Then B ended up with a nasty stomach bug. Being home with a sick kid doesn't actually create that much work for me, especially with B since he mostly wants to watch TV, so I had many gaps of time to fill without the ability to distract myself with trips to the gym or watching TV. That left me with many idle moments into which thoughts of Sam could creep.

Adding to that, the universe seemed to be conspiring to present me with the types of little events and encounters that I usually would share with him. I went to the pet store to pick up food for Percy (who seems to be pretty stable in terms of his mouth tumor - it's still not interfering with his quality of life as far as I can tell) on Wednesday. There was a lot more to see than usual. They had a very cute baby hedgehog, though not nearly as cute as Percy when he was little, a pair or chinchillas that were about to be taken home by a lucky family, and a very funny hamster. The hamster was so amusing that i stood and watched him for several minutes. He seemed to be occupying himself mostly by transferring his huge food pellets, which were about 2/3 the size of his head, from his food dish to a mounting pile in the corner of his tank. Every so often in this process he'd hop on his wheel for a second or two or pause to dig furiously in his bedding with no apparent purpose. It was funny to watch the little critter being so industrious without any real purpose I could divine. Of course, with our many trips to the pet store together and Sam once considering buying a hamster of his own, two weeks ago I would have gotten home and immediately called him to share my amusement.

Then, last night, I was watching Emergency Vets on Animal Planet and saw a precious but very sick sugar glider, another unusual pet that has long fascinated both of us. The kicker, though, came during a commercial break. I happened to glance up during an ad for America's Funniest Animal Videos, and, lo and behold, there was the dancing porcupine! Okay, let me explain. On a trip to one of Boston's zoos, Sam and I experienced the phenomenon of the amazing dancing porcupine. When we approached the animal's enclosure, it came over to the wall nearest us, put its front paws up in the air, stood on its hind legs, and began to "dance." It was just sort of standing there swaying by shifting its weight from paw to paw, but it really left the ridiculously anthropomorphic impression that the creature was putting on a terpsichorean performance for us. We "ooohed". We "ahhed". We laughed, We wondered what on earth could prompt such a bizarre behavior. So, since then, the dancing porcupine, which has been witnessed by other people we know as well, became a particularly fond memory that we would bring up regularly. Therefore, when I saw the little guy there on TV it was very hard to resist calling or emailing Sam about it.

I have all sorts of reasons for ratcheting up the willpower and not letting myself get in touch with Sam. I certainly hope that we can be friends eventually, but now is not the time. First of all, I am still hurt and angry with him. While it would be nice to share those little anecdotes with him, being someone who would appreciate them as much as I, being in touch with him right now would likely be at best awkward and at worst painful. The bitter and vengeful part of me wants to avoid contact as a way of punishing him. I'd like to think that he is already missing my cheery emails and phone calls, and that selfish, vindictive side wants him to suffer. Not charming qualities, I know, but I'm not going to hide them.

So, here I am, writing about silly animal encounters that probably none of you are interested in. But it gives me an outlet for thoughts and experiences other than Sam, and right now I need the distance.

In other news, I managed to come up with a Mother's Day gift for the kids to make for their mom. Each year it gets harder and harder to come up with ideas of gifts for the parents that the kids can work on but that won't end up stuck in a drawer somewhere gathering dust. These aren't the sort of people who are likely to display a picture frame decorated with glitter or elbow macaroni. I got some simple wooden kitchen utensils with broad handles and had the kids paint them. They turned out bright and colorful, and they'll probably come in handy in the kitchen of the new lake house. Now I can move on to figuring out what they can do for their dad for his birthday next week and Father's Day.

Today, though, I am taking a break from work and love worries so I can simply enjoy bowling and game night with my brother and friends. Now I have to get to the store to get ingredients for the butterscotch bars I am making for tonight.

today's project: baking, bowling, and Boggle

Did you know? bones from a sperm whale may continue to ooze oil for more than a century

consecutive workout days: what's a workout?

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flutter back - fly ahead