March 13, 2003 - 7:59 p.m.

The Winter That Will Not End

It's snowing yet again. Last I checked we had about 3 or 4 inches. That's nothing for New Englanders, but it is the middle of March now! We had just begun to see decent sized patches of bare ground, but now it's all covered with snow again. Aargh!

At least another week is over, and a week from now I will be in lovely Venice, where the temperature will be in the upper 50's. Hooray! I intend to spend my time wandering along the canals and streets, visiting lovely churches, and seeing incredible works of art. Even though it will be a short trip, I think it will be well worth it. Hopefully Derek will have a little time off from his tournament to see some sights as well.

It will be so great to get away. This week was an emotional one. I think the final chapter of the saga with my ex-boyfriend is coming to an end. It appears that my hopes that he could work through the stuff that was holding him back from really committing to the relationship were unfounded. Tuesday night I dealt with the reality that I have to give up on the best relationship I have ever had - that was hard. But now I am feeling a little better, I guess because I don't really have a choice. I've done the little I could to show him how much he and the relationship mean to me, and it's just not enough. It appears his doubts are stronger than whatever feelings he has or had for me. I had my day of mourning on Tuesday and there's no sense dwelling on what is lost. So I have been trying to focus on my job, my friends, and whatever brings me happiness. That will have to do for now.

Tomorrow I plan to go to the gym (I have been a complete slacker this week!) and make some phone calls in order to feel out more options for hospital volunteering. I also need to find some time to talk to the kids' dad, since he was once a nurse at Children's Hospital, so he might have some insight about volunteering or child life specialists. Saturday I am going to the Roger WIlliams Zoo. I haven't been there since October (though I visited the Bronx Zoo on Thanksgiving Day and the New Orleans Zoo the day after Christmas). Checking out the animals at the zoo is one of my favorite pastimes and nearly always lifts my spirits, so I am very much looking forward to it.

today's project: trying to summon spring

musing about: how best to move on

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