March 12, 2003 - 5:44 p.m.

To Create and Destroy

I was noting today how much a part of children's nature it is to both create things and destroy things. This morning at the bus stop, where the snow plows' deposits have piled up over the winter into a huge mound of snow, the kids occupied themselves quite happily with chipping away at the mound with their boots, cracking iced-over puddles, and such. It was a very simple thing to do, but it engrossed them. They went about it with a fair bit of intensity and really seemed to enjoy it.

Then this morning, B was building an elaborate fort using all the couch and loveseat cushions and every pillow and blanket in the family room. The instinct or drive to create seems particularly strong in him (I sometimes call him my little MacGyver because of his tendency to take random bits and bobs and make them into elaborate contraptions with pretend functions) but I have noticed it in all the kids I have worked with over the years. I think both the creation and destruction are tied to a child's exploration of how he or she can affect the world. That same testing and observing accounts for a lot of the teasing, back talking, and yelling they tend to do as well. Kids are constantly experimenting with what reaction they can get, which is why consistency is such an important element in dealing with kids. If a child throws a tantrum and the adult gives in, the child will most likely keep trying the tantrum tactic thinking that eventualy it may be effective again. You've given her a precedent. Of course, it's not so easy to be that rational about it when you are, say, in the grocery store and everyone is staring at you as the child in your care does his interpretation of a scene from The Exorcist because you won't buy him a revoltingly rainbow colored cereal packed with sugar that he probably won't even like! :) Luckily, I have been privy to relatively few public tantrums. Thus, my iron will has mostly been tested when humiliation is not a factor.

today's project: green rice krispie treats and enjoying the rare spring-like weather

musing about: what causes the strong attraction between children and mud

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