February 04, 2004 - 10:14 a.m.

By the Numbers

Before I get into the highlights of the wedding trip, I simply must relate the hilarious conversation conducted in the car on the way to the girls' skiing lesson yesterday. The kids got on the subject of nearly extinct animals, and H pointed out that even if there are only two of a kind of animal left, one male one female, that animal may not become extinct because they can have babies. H's friend who carpools with us to skiing said, "But what if all the babies are boys?" So, I pointed out that in extreme circumstances like that, the offspring will sometimes mate with the parents. That comment sparked the first highly amusing statement; the friend emphatically declared in a disgusted voice, "I sure don't want to have babies with my dad!" To allay their fears, I told them that people don't do that and that you can't marry your own relatives. H, who is more than a bit quirky when it comes to animals, proceeds to declare that she wants to marry the family dog, Zeke. Her friend says, "What about me?" and the girls say she can marry her dog, Lucy. At this point, the conversation has gotten out of control as far as I am concerned and I am staying out of it. H's friend claims that she can't marry Lucy, because girls can't marry girls (never mind that we're talking about marrying animals already!) M, the empathetic middle child, pipes up, "I think boys should be able to marry boys and girls marry girls if they want." So, in the midst of continued amusement, I point out that exactly that is possible in some places now. She then declares that she wants to marry her best friend! It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud during most of the conversation. Kids have so much to learn, and the process is often hilarious. :)

I've decided to sum up my trip to Philadelphia for the wedding in numerical form:

1 - number of forays into snowbanks I took en route to Philly last Wednesday. Luckily not a bit of damage was done to the car or myself. Nearly gave me a heart attack, though.

2 - degree of the burn one of the bridesmaids got on her hand at the fondue restaurant where we kicked off the bachelorette night. She grabbed the handle of a pot of chocolate fondue, joking that we should bring it back to the hotel with us. Ow!

3 - number of men not my boyfriend that I danced with at the casual post-reception party thrown by the bride and groom. It was great fun to swing dance again.

4 - inches of heel on the shoes most of us in the bridal party wore. Amazingly, no one tripped or fell, though it remains to be seen whether the photos will all be ruined by our grimaces of pain. :)

5 - dollars Sam and I paid per person to get into the Philly zoo on Sunday, since we only had to split one adult admission (I have a membership to the zoo up here that gives reciprocal benefits with many zoos). We saw a sleepy aardvark, stood just a few feet from the biggest tiger I have ever seen (also got to watch his offspring frolicking together) as he stared intensely at us, also got up close to some adorable lemurs, and generally really enjoyed ourselves.

6 - number of ladies at the bachelorette party who feasted on fondue, played raunchy games (reclaiming our cherries, pinning the "macho" on the man, and downing blow job shots), and enjoyed the theme rooms we rented (Tahiti and Palm Beach - photos below)

7 - days the bride and groom are spending in Belize for their honeymoon.

8 - size of my burgundy, off the shoulder bridesmaid dress. The style showed a bit of my tattoos in the back (the bride didn't know about them), causing me to have a nightmare on the eve of the wedding that she and the wedding coordinator and another bridesmaid got furious at me for showing my scandalous body art. We all laughed about it the next morning, and the tattoos in question were admired.

9 - number of years I have known the bride. I was actually the least senior of the bridesmaids, since the other three were her sister, her cousin, and her best friend from high school.

10 - fingers and toes we, in the bridal party, each had pampered and polished before the wedding. After which we ran errands in our flip flops in 15 degree weather so as not to spoil our lovely pedicures. I even fell flat on my ass on an icy driveway.

We had a lot of fun doing all the bridesmaidly things like the bachelorette party and getting our hair done. There were plenty of little crises that kept us stressed out as we tried to keep the bride calm, but the ceremony and reception both went beautifully. There were only a few tearful moments when we noted the absence of Meg's mom, as we mostly remembered that she was there in spirit. After the formalities all the friends of the bride and groom relaxed at the after party eating pizza, dancing, talking, and getting drunk. It was a nice ending to a very busy week.

today's project: reconciling B to the fact that he has to miss skating class

musing about: how nice it is to be back home and free of making small talk

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flutter back - fly ahead