October 21, 2003 - 7:39 p.m.

My Biological Clock Just Ground To A Halt

I just witnessed the mother of all temper tantrums, and it has put all thought of having children in the anything but distant future right out of my head! Poor S came home, and it wasn't more than five minutes before B had started to flip out. What a way to be greeted after a long day of work in the not at all stressful world of investment banking!

The fit started small when S refused to let B have a peanut butter sandwich for dinner. PB&J is just about all that kid wants to eat these days, other than candy or cookies, of course. So, B starts getting whiny. Then he asked to watch Magic School Bus on TV, and his mom said no because she had already told H she could watch Animal Planet. Then all hell began to break loose. B started screaming, crying, and jumping up and down. When he saw that wasn't going to help him get his way he tried to grab the remote. Then he started hitting and kicking S. She tried to corral him and sit with him to get him to calm down, and he just lashed out more at her. She would get him to calm down for a second and inform him of the consequence of his actions (no dessert, going straight to bed after dinner, etc) and he'd flip out again. This went on for almost half an hour before S finally got him upstairs and calmed down but not before he had knocked over a couple chairs, slammed a door, and thrown a plastic trumpet right at her head.

So, right now I am thoroughly grateful I am childless and could retreat to my room where there is peace, quiet, and not a single plastic trumpet. In general I would say that my biological clock runs a little faster than many women's. I have always wanted kids, and always figured I would have them at a relatively young age, at least starting when I was in my 20's. Obviously, life has intervened in those plans and I am mature enough to acknowledge that it will probably be a few years before I am in any sort of position conducive to starting a family. Still, I look forward to having children of my own someday. Not today, though! There's no more effective birth control than witnessing a child at his or her worst!

On the upside, it was good to see that S really stuck to her guns with B. SInce he is the youngest and is such a charmer, his parents sometimes cave and let him have what he wants in order to gain time, quiet, or some other precious commodity for the busy family. It always irks me when I see them give in to him, since I try to be as firm and consistent as possible with all the kids. Plus, having studied the basics of psychology, I know that unpredictable rewards are the strongest motivator for behavior. Both people and animals are more likely to keep at a behavior that brings them a positive reward only occasionally than one that they are rewarded for constantly! So recalcitrant preschooler plus sporadic affirmation from the parents equals an even more temperamental tot! Luckily, S never gave in, though, all child development theory aside, I could hardly have blamed her if she had. Finally B was calm enough to eat a quick dinner and get put to bed. Oy!

I'm tense and exhausted just from being a bystander! I think it is time to check my email and then adjourn to my bed with my book!

today's project: taming the savage child

musing about: how nice it is to have the luxury of focusing on myself

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flutter back - fly ahead