December 04, 2002 - 2:03 p.m.

Mental meandering...

Treated myself today to one of the yummiest breakfasts ever: pumpkin bagel with honey almond cream cheese from Einstein Brothers, and a gingerbread latte from Starbucks. Oh so tasty!

It's gotten up to 28 degrees today, but it feels positively balmy compared to yesterday when the wind chill was in the teens.

Don't let anyone tell you (or at least don't believe them) that boys and girls are basically the same! Yesterday at the library, B started playing with two other boys with some puppets. In less than a minute, the play organized itself into taking turns bopping each other's puppets on the head and growling madly. Boys' play very often seems to fall back on aggression, sometimes socialized aggression as in this case, but aggression nonetheless. Girls are much more likely to lay out complex relationships and engage in much more verbal interaction. In this case, a little girl was nearby just staring at the boys like they were crazy. :) Don't get me wrong, girls get agressive, and boys get talkative, but much of the time the gender roles stay firmly in place. It comes up in other areas, too, but I don't want to make this entry turn into an observational study of boys and girls.

Kids need to be taught (and I find that they rarely are) that fairness doesn't necessarily mean everybody gets the same thing. Last night, the kids' mom came home with a new sweatshirt for H, and B was getting mad because he didn't get a new one. Mom patiently explained that he has plenty of shirts and refused to get engaged in an argument when this didn't satisfy him, but it got me thinking. Sometimes families get smaller presents for siblings on a child's birthday. I HATE that. It keeps children from learning the value of celebrating someone else's special day. They only look forward to the event for what they will get out of it. It's even worse when people do this if one child is having a piano recital or has undergone a medical procedure. I don't think you can start teaching a child too early to understand that each individual's circumstances dictate what he or she needs and deserves. It helps kids to see that they are unique and special, and to appreciate diversity. Plus, trying to be fair by means of exact equality can encourage greed and being obsessed with having the same as everyone else. It's like the early childhood version of keeping up with the Joneses.

I'm thinking of doing some sort of service activity with the kids for the holidays this year. I think they are all old enough to learn about giving back to the community and helping others who are less fortunate. Maybe we'll go to the toy store and they can each pick a toy to donate to Toys for Tots, or perhaps we can make dog treats and catnip toys for the local animal shelter. Of course, after the rant above, if we do go to the toy store, I will make sure that we leave with only the toys to be donated and no baubles for the kids themselves. :)

today's project: probably paper snowflakes - kids love projects that have an element of surprise!

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